Friday, January 18, 2008

Luke 9:57-58

"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”" Luke 9:57-58

The title of these verses in my Bible is "The Cost of Following Jesus." The verses and the cost has never meant so much to me. Growing up I never moved once my entire life. I grew up in the house that I came home from the hospital to. I never realized how different that was, or how used I got to not changing. I moved to Biola and I had a slew of different roommates, but I stayed on or near campus the whole time. It was normal. Then there were my two years years in the trailer. Since moving to Simi Valley I have moved five times, and the sixth time will happen in the next two months.

The people that I am living with are moving and that brings about two different emotions. The first one is extreme sadness, the people that I currently live with are my family here. I consider them my brother and sister. I am so excited for what they are moving onto, but so sad that they are going to not be a daily part of my life. The second emotion is fear, fear that my entire life is going to change again, fear that I will be alone, fear that this is not the last move that I will have to make.

The hardest part of moving is knowing that nothing in my life is consistent. It is a reminder of my singleness. I guess I have the idea that once a person get married moving happens less. It may be a wrong perception, but once a person gets married, they have one thing that is consistent: a husband or wife. Moving makes me remember that I don't have that one consistent thing.

This move is a challenge for me to daily remember that though I don't have a husband, I do have God who promises that He will never leave me. He is my constant and it is my job to remember that every day of my life. So often I forget his faithfulness, and love. I assume that because I currently don't have a place to live that for some reason, He has forgotten about me but the truth is, I have forgotten him. I have forgotten His faithfulness. I have forgotten His promises. I need to remember that I have a Savior, a Savior who is faithful to me in all my changes, and is knowledgeable of every aspect of my life. The trick is to keep my eyes focused on the Savior rather than focusing on what I perceive the problem to be. I need to remember that He is faithful even though I am not.

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