The Song

So today I have been thinking a lot. Thinking about how I really lack the faith to trust God in a lot of areas of my life. I have been so frustrated lately about where I am and why I am here. I thought that my life would look different from what it looks like now. I realize how much God does love me and care for me and I know that my life looks exactly how He wants it to look. As I was driving home tonight I was struggling thinking through this and I changed the music to more reflective music so that I could think more.

I put on my favorite song of the last year and began to sing. In the midst of the chorus I realized that the answer to all of my questions was within the words of the chorus. "Own me, Take all that I am, And heal me with the blood of the Lamb, mold me With Your gracious hand; Break me till I'm only Yours-Own me." For a year I have been singing these lyrics and meaning it. "Take all that I am...mold me...break me till I'm only yours." Now I am in the midst of it happening and instead of running to the arms of my Savior, I am trying to analyze why this is all happening and instead of trusting, I am worrying and taking all my burdens upon myself. He is breaking me to bring me closer to Him and I am ignoring Him because what I am going through is hard.

My prayers have changed tonight and I am now praying a different prayer. I haven't stopped singing the song, but I am praying that God would change the desires of my heart, that He would help me to focus more on Him, and that I would be thankful for the things that He has given me.

Yes, my life doesn't look like I thought that it would but God still does love me and has not forgotten me.

"God's unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God's love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son." Jerry Bridges in Trusting God