Hope. Do I trust God?

Hope in essence is good, it gives us so much. I love the passage in Romans 3: 3-6 that says, "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I recently had hope. Not a biblical hope, but hope in circumstances. True hope does not disappoint us, it does not let us down. True hope in God alone gives us so much more than we deserve. It gives us a peace and a trust in God's love.

But I put my hope in circumstances. I let people convince me that the circumstance that I was in would produce a certain outcome. I put my hope in that circumstance and built dreams on that circumstance, but the circumstance changed. It didn't have the predicted outcome that people said it would and that I hoped in.

Of course I was crushed and I got mad at hope. I got mad because hope made me dream and think things that I shouldn't have thought about my life and the circumstances of it. I was frustrated and wanted just to be alone and dwell on my sadness.

Instead, God chose to remind me of Himself and that He is the one that I should place my hope in, not circumstances. I was driving to church this morning and was stopped at a red light, the entire drive I had been thinking of the situation and how I felt that the hope that I had had betrayed me. (In essence I was also mad at God for how the circumstances changed.). In the stillness of waiting at a red light, I heard God's still small voice. He asked me "Do you trust me?" The minute I heard it I exhaled a deep breath.

The truth is that I do trust God with my life. I do trust Him with what He has planned for my life. I do trust His willingness to work in my life. But in the extinguishing of my hope in circumstances I forgot who was in charge. I forgot that I trust someone with my whole life and heart and that trust in Him is what I should rely on at all times.

I forgot that He knows me better than I know myself. I forgot that He loves me more than anyone else. Throughout the whole church service I heard the small voice, "Do you trust me?" I heard it over and over again and I exhaled a deep breath every time. I do believe it. I do trust God and that He has my whole life in His plan. Now I just need to remember to trust Him as He guides me.